The 9 Holes that make up GolfKon were designed to blend in with a deck and provide green ground cover in a backyard that refused to grow grass. What was initially just a one-hole bank shot (now Bank Hole 3), turned into 2 extra tee boxes, then an additional 3 in another portion of the back yard, and finally retro-fitting tee-boxes on the original three to create 9 separate holes. As you'll see, each hole plays drastically different with obstacles and traps littering the course".


"The Big Easy" is a straight forward 18 foot shot that should get you off to a great start. Melanie The Frog's house is the only obstacle to avoid, but unless there are drugs or alcohol involved, she rarely comes into play. There are four Par 2's in GolfKon and this is the only one that averages under-par.


"Evil Elvis" is a relatively easy birdie with a right to left lean the entire length of the hole, but the inclined hole can turn a second shot into a sixth before you know it. The height of the hole is actually an illusion. The front lip really isn't that far off the ground and the trick is ignoring every instinct to over-strike and imaagine it's flat. Without practice, this hole is as maddening as it gets because a miss sends your ball back to nearly the exact spot you just hit it from. With a few practice shots however, it's a par or better hole every time.


"The Bank" is the first Par 3 and has hazzards that will put you out of the running quickly. The 45 degree bank is only one foot and is preceeded by a tree root on the left and a mound on the right that can catapult you into a sand trap.


Going for a hole-in-one here is extremely risky, but possible if you hit the bank at the right angle and speed. After the bank the ball contiaanues the path of "The Big Easy" and this time, Melanie The Frog's house will indeed block you. With practice, this hole can be a regular birdie.


Planet GolfKon premiered at the 2016 March Madness Match-Play event and was the first hole to offer players a choice in starting locations. The main hole measures in at 36 feet with obstacles jutting into the green making your path to the hole extremely narrow. However if you're feeling lucky (or are really behind) you have the option of trying the Supertee Zero Shot directly behind the original tee.


A 44 foot shot from 4 feet in the air, it is indeed a free stroke 0 shot, so as long as you can keep it on the green below, you have a great shot at a Birdie 1 or even an Eagle 0... but if it goes off-course your next shot (now stroke 1) is from the same tee. It's enticing but do the risks outweigh the potential reward? It's up to you. Once on the greens however...


Your first (and worst) obstacle are the court house steps from Hole 7 jutting out. Hit these and you're looking at a bogey.


Get past the courthouse and there are 3 patches of Kryptonite that can send your ball flying off-course. Especially if you've hit the ball from the Supertee..

Get past all of that...

...and a well placed shot off the Daily Planet building and you're in. Talk about a complicated Par 2!


Everyone's favorite hole, Golfko, pays homage to The Price is Right's "Plinko" and makes you wonder: "Why didn't they think of this before?" Each player gets three attempts at Golfko with one wrinkle: only the last ball you putt counts, not the best of three. Ideally you hit it hard enough to make it to the "Birdie Ramp" on the right, but you risk an off-course which could be a game-ending 6. Choosing whether to use all 3 attempts for a better score is extremely risky.


Depending on where you are on the leaderboard, how you play this hole can change completely. Tip: If you get a birdie 2:  keep it. I put a screw in front of 1 to make it nearly impossible to get. It can be done, but it's easily a 1 in 100 chance and only once in a tournament has it ever happened.


The Gopher Hole theme was dedicated at the 2015 Independence Championship. Previously named "THAT &^*%& PYRAMID", the Gopher from Caddyshack became the first motion-controlled section of GolfKon to further irritate competitors by sticking his head out of a hole as you try to tee off...


Although there's always a path to get past him, when his head is up he blocks the path to the bank which is the only way to set-up a birdie or get a hole-in-one eagle. Once onto the green you're met with an absolutely infuriating hole placement ...


Atop a trapezoid where your putting speed has to be perfect or else it falls into the corner or even worse? Comes RIGHT back where you started from. This is a hole where you're thankful the score caps out at 6 strokes. You could conceivably never move on.


Easily the most intricate of all the holes at GolfKon and our first themed Hole dedicated on Memorial Day 2014 with two cast members from "Back to the Future". Several details make this a crowd favorite...


The tee box houses the Time Display explaining that your are presently in 1885 and you must "Golf to the Future" in order to get to the hole. An elevated 1 foot wide green holds 3 seperate pipes leading you further along with the final pipe (2015) leading you directly to the hole.


Avoiding the 1955 pipe is easy, but banking it around 1985 takes a bit of practice. If you happen to hit the 1985 pipe marker your ball goes directly in, coming out through the clock tower...


As annoyed as you are when this happens, it's still kinda cool that your golf ball just shot out of the clock tower.


The ramp to the final pipe is not kind. Get up the ramp but not over? Your ball will strategically roll all the way back to 1985. Jump it however (notice the hidden time machine from the 3rd movie under the jump) and you just may be able to trigger the coolest minigolf event on GolfKon...


Yes, attached to the 2015 marker is a 1/24 scale replica Time Machine that will race into "time" if you hit it just right. And if you can do all that AND have your ball roll into the cup? will have hit a "Soaring Eagle". It doesn't help your score anymore than an eagle, but it sure looks cool when you do it. And of course, the best part about the hole? Here's the shot when you're teeing off...


The word "epic" tends to be overused these days, but as you can see, this is no "overuse". A 100% Screen-Accurate Delorean Time Machine on-course. Every ounce of the word epic applies here.


The final two holes at GolfKon will send your ball flying through the air when all you want to do is play it safe. The Widowmaker 8th starts you at an unstable 14 INCHES off the ground needing to make it over the 1-inch ridge in either one hop (playing it safe) or smashing it past to try for the hole-in-one. If you hit the bank, you move to the narrow portion which means you again have to deal with the incline from Hole 2. There is no avoiding how difficult this hole is.

And finally, the hole where legends are made. 3 of the 4 GolfKon Majors end here and a hole-in-one birdie holds all the risk of trying to get an eagle on the Par 3s. The biggest obstacle (besides the fact that it's a freaking ramp) is the angle requires you to "one-hop" it off the deck, or to risk hopping it off-course by banking it off the right-side. To top it off, the trunk of a Eucalyptus tree blocks your view of the hole forcing you to lean over or back to see it... then putting by memory.
The rules for the course are as follows:
Rule #1 - Any ball hit off-course must be re-hit from previous spot. If it lands on another green, the player may choose to re-hit or play through.
Rule #2 - Any ball within 4 inches of a wall or ridge may be moved 4 inches away.
Rule #3 - If you accidentally tap the ball while not in a backswing or golf motion, you may place it back in the original position without penalty. Stopping the ball before it comes to a stop however, is an automatic 6.
Rule #4 - 6 is the highest score possible for any hole.
Plinko Hole Rules:
  • A) You get 3 attempts, with only your last (not your best) attempt counting.
  • B) An off-course shot on the Plinko hole is considered a 6.
  • C) A stuck ball on the Plinko hole may be moved 1 peg over (or through two pegs if stuck between) with your putter.
A handy-video was made explaining these rules and providing tips on each hole...

Now, if you've ever been called an asshole while playing sports, the following is a further clarification of the rules:

Rule #1 - Any ball hit off-course must be re-hit from previous spot. If it lands on another green, the player may choose to re-hit or play through.

Asshole Addendums:

  • No, you cannot take a drop.
  • Why? Because this course is too small and it would kill all skill involved in the shot if you could just hit it as hard as you want and then drop it wherever it went out of bounds.
  • No, even if you take a one-stroke penalty, you cannot take a drop.
  • There is no extra penalty for re-hitting the ball from the previous spot. If your first shot goes off-course, the re-hit is considered "Shot 2". We know other courses handle this differently, play there.
  • There needs to be a consensus on where the previous spot was before re-hitting the ball. Moving it to a different spot will not be tolerated.
  • If the ball touches someone while off-course it's "dead". If a person (or dog) touches it while on the green, it's a re-do without penalty.
  • If it is determined you have someone jump in and stop the ball on the green whenever you hit a bad put, you will will absolutely face disqualification. Stop being an asshole.
  • The dead-ball when off-course rule is specifically for the asshole who would get his friends to help him by kicking it while off-course. Stop being an asshole.

Rule #2 - Any ball within 4 inches of a wall, ridge or bridge may be moved 4 inches away.

Asshole Addendums:

  • This rule is usually "The length of the putter" and indeed, if you're using one of the course putters this is true. However, they make the most ridiculous putters that are far bigger than 4 inches, so borrow someone else's putter or find what 4 inches is on yours.
  • It goes without saying, there needs to be a consensus on this as well.
Rule #3 - If you accidentally tap the ball while not in a backswing or golf motion, you may place it back in the original position without penalty. Stopping the ball before it comes to a stop however, is an automatic 6.

Asshole Addendums:

  • No one cares if you didn't mean to. It's a 6.
  • No one cares if it just hit your foot by accident. It's a 6
  • No one cares if the close quarters of the course made it hard for you to get out of the way. It's a 6. Think before you line up for the putt.
  • If there is no contact with the ball (even in a backswing) it is not a stroke. I understand in "real" golf it can be, but in "real" golf you aren't forced to putt left handed or around a clocktower on a ledge 2 feet off the ground.

Rule #4 - 6 is the highest score possible for any hole.


The Plinko Hole Rules:

1) Plinko Hole 5 allows 3 attempts, with only your last attempt counting.

Asshole Addendum:

  • If you touch the ball with your putter in any way after you've set it on the tee, that is considered an attempt. Once you've set it in a circle on the tee mat it's ready to go. You may pick it back up if you decide not to take the attempt, but once it has been touched by your putter, that is indeed an attempt.

2) - An off-course shot on the Plinko hole is considered a 6

Asshole Addendum:

  • You may still attempt another try if it's not your 3rd attempt, don't demand a 6 for a player who hits it off-course on his 1st or 2nd attempt.

3) - A stuck ball on the Plinko hole may be moved 1 peg over (or through two pegs if stuck between) with your putter.

Asshole Addendum:

  • If you tap it and it goes over a TWO pegs? It is a 6 for that attempt. Period. It doesn't matter if you didn't mean to. If you're attempting to put any english on it, you're already cheating. Basically, when it rains or gets hot or gets cold the pegs move a bit because Adam chose wood, all you're doing is helping along the shot that was already falling.
  • Yes, the board could've been done with metal pegs but Adam mentioned something about having a bed of nails in his backyard with two kids seeming like a bad idea. Sue him.


Other shit that just has to be said:

  • You must hit the ball off one of the holes in the black tee. Stop being an asshole.
  • That is the black tee on the hole you are actually putting. Stop being an asshole.
  • If you happen to put the ball on one of the 3 holes in the tee and it's less than an inch off in any direction, there is no penalty. If you try and call something that, you're being an asshole. What we don't want are people putting the ball in far corners of the black tee CLEARLY trying to be an asshole. These rules aren't meant to penalize people who couldn't feel the divet and set it next to the hole.
  • You must strike the ball with the head of your putter. Stop being an asshole.
  • You may not use the portion of some putters that allows you to pick up a ball to indeed pick up your ball and THROW it further down the course. Stop being an asshole.
  • You cannot use any part of your body to strike the ball, ever. Stop being an asshole.
  • The sandtrap does not count as part of the green. That is off-course and you need to take the stroke and re-hit it.
  • If you kick, hit or break any part of the course or one of the course putters out of anger, you will absolutely face disqualification. Stop being an asshole.
  • If you scream at another player in the middle of his/her shot or in any way attempt to intimidate him/her while putting you will absolutely face disqualification. Stop being an asshole.

And finally, we want the best players to play GolfKon. That's the only reason we're making these rules so intricate: we actually enjoy the challenge of finding all possible angles that a player would look to get ahead and appreciate the passion to win. However we swear to Melanie The Frog these tournaments will get serious, and Adam will not hesitate to erase a player from existence on this site for being a general dick. This is goddamned mini-golf for crying out loud.